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Vydáno: 20. prosince 1968
Nahráno: listopad 1968, Johnův dům v Londýně, záď Ringova stěhováku v Surrey, USA, Georgův dům v Esheru
Zvuk. inženýr a producent: Kenny Everett
Zvláštní host: Tiny Tim
Obal: Paul McCartney
8:02













Ringo: Hello, this is a big hi and a sincere merry Christmas from yours truly, Ringo Starr.

Happy new year, happy Christmas
happy easter, happy autumn
happy micklemus, ev'rybody
happy Christmas, ev'rybody to you.

I'd like to wish ev'rybody happy Christmas
this year of 1968 going on 69
happy Christmas, happy new year
all the best to you from here.

Ah - haaa!

I'd like to wish ev'rybody
happy Christmas, happy new year
from there to here
happy new year, happy new year
happy new year, happy new year.

When Ii get to the bottom
I go back to the top of the slide
where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
till I get to the bottom and I see you again.

John: Once upon a time, there were two balloons called Jock and Yono. They were strictly in love, bound to happpen in a mllion years. They were together man. Unfortunate timetable, they seemed to have previous experience which lept calling them one way or another. You know how it is. But they battled on against overwhelming oddities, including some of their beast friends. Being in love, they clung together even more man. But some of the poisonous monsters' outdated boss, lordy ape claws did stick slightly, and they occasionally had to resort to the dry cleaners. Luckily, this did not kill them and they weren't banned form the Olympic Games. They lived hopefully ever after and who could blame them.

George: Well, here we are again, another fab Christmas. Christmas time is here again. Ain't been around since last year. And we'd like to take this opportunity, all the way from America, to say happy Christmas to you our faithful, beloved fans all over the world who have made our life worth living. And over here I have Mr. Malcolm Evans who through thick and thin world surely like to to say a word of greeting as this festive occasion.

Mal Evans : Merry Christmas children everywhere.

At the first stroke, it will be...

Ringo: ...Ringo Starr. Thank you.

"Good evening"

"Hello, my dear. I didn't know you are coming."

"I'm not surprised."

"Well, I am! Certainly am!"

"I would have thought so myself."

"Well, if you ask me, I think it's insane."

"Occasionally."

"Yes, me, too. Twice a week sometimes."

"Fourteen and six"

"Nineteen and five to save me if you don't mind."

"Yes, I know."

"Don't you say yes to me! I'm telling you!"

"This is a private line, you knw."

"Private line? I've been on this line for two years."

Ringo: Well, it's my proud preasure tonight to introduce one of the most versatile performers in our career. And he's come all the way from Stokely Carmichel's. -on-sea. And I hope you're going to like him. Let's give him a big hand.

Happy new year, happy Christmas
happy easter, happy autumn
happy micklemus, ev'rybody
happy Christmas, ev'rybody to you.

John: Once upon a pool table there lived a short-haired butchre's boy by the wayof ostergrad. It comes in scented cesspool or be careful. Her father was in a long story cut short in the middle of this life sentence. We're indebted to the colloquial office fot its immediate disposal of her honorwitz, including, I might add, half a fell of her twotem. On the other handbag, I mean to say l'amoure ne soome tu joures realistic, strictly speaking. For this film is about an hourglass houseboat. The full meaning of Winchester Cathedral defies description. Their loss was our Gainsborough nil.

John: The sound of a manservantile defectively lasting barred up in a love-dizzy gar-di-dell time. How close can you Gettysberg and ever underly council ya originally a birthday...

George: Court! We have a special guest here this evening, Mr.Tiny Tim. I'd like to ask him to say a few words.

Tiny Tim: Oh, hello to you nice Beatles. Ah, it's so wonderful, what a thrill it is talking here. Ah, in Mr. Harrison's presence, Mr. Weiss' presence, and all his nice wonderful friend. And the thing is, I just wanna say Merry Christmas to you all. And, ah, a Happy New Year.

George: Thank you, Tiny. Would you like to sing us a little song?

Tiny Tim: Ah, I'd love to. Here's a song I did in 1966 in front of Miss Jill for the first time. And I did this in Albert Hall, and what a thrill it was, ah, to do this then, and now...exactly the way I did it then.

He's a, ooh, real nowhere man
living in his nowhere land
making all his nowhere plans for nobody.

Hasn't got a point of view
knows not where he's going to
isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man, yes, don't worry
take your time, don't hurry
nowhere man, the world's at your command, ooh.

He's a, huh huh, real nowhere man
living in his nowhere land
making all his nowhere plans for nobody, ooh ooh.

George: Thank you, Tiny. Thank you and God bless you, Tiny.

Tiny Tim: God bless you all. Oh, God bless you all.